June 2013
i swear the only thing i could think about when jennifer lawrence fell at the oscars last night was that somewhere in a dark room leo dicaprio whispered at his tv screen “i wouldn’t have tripped”
the sexual tension between you and anyone your age on public transport
today at the park some guy broke his ankle and one of the people said “give him some lettuce” and everyone just stared at him for like 7 seconds until he said “I meant ice”
today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore
